It has long been said by many a famous and infamous person
that listening is a far more important skill than talking.
Those people would have been mortified by the internet.
Because in today’s day and age, it’s less often we find
ourselves in a room full of people having conversations and far more often that
we end up “in” a little electronic box full of people’s typed ramblings.
So my question:
Is “talking” on the internet the same thing as an in-person
meeting and does listening even apply
to the internet?
In my humble opinion? It applies even more online than in a
face-to-face setting.
Stephen R. Covey said
it well (and you should listen!)
Here’s a quote I really like that kind of sums up exactly
what I’m going to detail in this post:
"Most people do not listen with the intent to
understand; they listen with the intent to reply." -- Stephen R. Covey
Covey must have been talking about people who post comments
on the internet! Because, more often than I’d like to see, people online run
rampant with their opinions, bad attitude and complete disregard for the hard
work that writers put into their work.
These trolls essentially talk without listening.
People can be very self-centered, that’s human nature to a
point, but that emotion is so heightened online because we’re in control of the
words we write and no one can interrupt or cut us off from saying them.
Talking and talking about whatever floats from your brain
into your fingers can be a scary prospect though. And it can alienate your readers until they all go away.
Death for a writer. Don't let it happen to you, check out these 5 tips to stop being an internet idiot.
You might be an
internet idiot if…
1. You don’t notice
that no one’s listening anymore.
I’m not talking about newer writers trying to establish an
audience with no comments yet. I mean seasoned writers who have lost their
audience engagement (this could also be due to any of the next 4 points as well
so keep reading).
We’ve all been at those parties where the annoying person
keeps rambling on, oblivious to the fact that the people around them have
checked out, stopped paying attention and maybe even walked away. Don’t be that
person online!
If your posts used to get great engagement but of late you’re
finding they have little to no traction then it’s time to go back to writing
about what people wanted to read.
Engagement and conversation is the key to a healthy internet
network. Listen to your readers by their clicks and comments and give them what
they want to hear.
2. Your comments lack
any connection to the original post.
This one is tricky because there’s a fine line between
adding to the conversation and hijacking someone else’s post for your own gain.
There are going to be times when you read something that stirs
some kind of emotion inside you. Your instinct will be to post a comment
sharing your experience. Great! True connection is so crucial when chatting
through the typed word.
What isn’t great? Making it clear you didn't read the original post and your reaction is purely due to the headline.
Comments can bring traffic too and lots of people use them for that very thing. But it's tacky. At least make a point to skim a post when a headline draws you in.
Click first. Comment later.
3. You never promote
anyone but yourself.
Hey, I get it. In this
business shameless self-promotion is sometimes the key to getting your message and name out there. But what about all those useful things you read that inspired your posts?
Sharing, as they say, is caring.
If you don’t take the time to at least offer something useful outside of your own
writing, what do you think your connections will think? They’ll think it’s time
to walk away from your selfish ways and start promoting others who are more
reciprocal.
Because making things happen online is all about scratching
each other’s backs. If you never extend your arm, why would you
expect them to do that for you?
4. You don’t act genuine,
or, you’ve got two personalities.
A certain
level of professionalism in all of your online correspondence is never a bad thing. We leave our
imprint on the world with the words we use in any given situation – our blog
posts, forum posts, group chats, social media conversations and more.
But that doesn’t mean you should become someone else
entirely. Just be you!
If “you” is a jack-ass then that’s what I expect to read in
your posts. Don’t be flowery and shiny in your posts and a snarky bastard in
your conversations.
That’s how you lose listeners.
And there are listeners, readers, even for a snarky jack-ass. People who relate
to your voice will read.
You don’t have to connect with everyone. There are far better
ways to engage than to be fake just to reel people in.
5. You have no
connection to what you’re writing.
It’s important to learn new things and
experiment with new writing styles. We writers love to dive in and do research
then report on our findings.
However, if you don’t care about your article, have no real
interest in the subject matter and only write it in order to stay at the top of
search engines, your words will feel impersonal and cold.
And like Goldilocks discovered, too cold is yucky.
If you don’t know enough about what you’re writing then do
more research. If you don’t care about what you’re writing then write something
else.
It’s more likely people will listen if they feel you
have a true connection to the material you’re sharing.
Bottom line?
Listen to your readers. Engage in meaningful conversations in comment sections or forums. Actually read
what other people write and congratulate them for the hard work that went into creating
that post.
Listen to their words, appreciate them, and they’ll do the same for you.
We’re all out here trying to fill the internet with better writing
so remember – no one ever got anywhere on their own. Help them and they will in
turn help you.
Image courtesy Victor Habbick on FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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